Relationship Diversity Podcast

Episode 117: Relationships are Political with Michelle Hy

Carrie Jeroslow Episode 117

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Episode 117:
Relationships are Political with Michelle Hy, Polyamorous White Asian

In this episode, I have a thought-provoking conversation with Michelle Hy, a second-generation Asian American and advocate for polyamory within the BIPOC community. 

 

We discuss the deeply political nature of relationships, how politics impact who and how we love, and the intersectional challenges faced by non-monogamous people of color. 

 

Michelle shares her personal journey into polyamory, her mission to normalize non-monogamy, and the importance of addressing societal bias and privilege. Highlighted topics include the implications of legal recognition for non-monogamous relationships, community building, and envisioning a future where diverse relationship structures are widely accepted and normalized.

 

Connect with Michelle:

Instagram | Website

 

Michele’s Instagram Post on Relationships are Political

 

 

00:00 Introduction to Relationship Diversity

00:15 Welcome to the Podcast

01:17 Introducing Michelle Hy

03:38 Michelle's Journey into Polyamory

08:33 Intersectionality and Non-Monogamy

11:11 Polyamory and Politics

13:31 Challenges and Privileges in Non-Monogamous Relationships

25:38 Community Building and Support

30:37 Conclusion and Future Vision

This is Relationships Reimagined.

Join the conversation as we dive into a new paradigm of conscious, intentional and diverse relationships.

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Podcast Music by Zachariah Hickman

 

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Please note: I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, counselor, or social worker. I am not attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental, or emotional issue, disease, or condition. The information provided in or through my podcast is not intended to be a substitute for the professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment provided by your own Medical Provider or Mental Health Provider. Always seek the advice of your own Medical Provider and/or Mental Health Provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your specific circumstance.

Michelle Hy:

When we have systems that affect how we can love and who we can love and how many people we can love, and when, say, marriage is a legal institution where you have your relationship recognized by the state. Yes, relationships are very political.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Welcome to the Relationship Diversity Podcast, where we celebrate, question and explore all aspects of relationship structure diversity, from soloramory to monogamy to polyamory and everything in between, because every relationship is as unique as you are. We'll bust through societal programming to break open and dissect everything we thought we knew about relationships, to ask the challenging but transformational questions who am I and what do I really want in my relationships? I'm your guide, Keri Jaroslow, bestselling author, speaker, intuitive and coach. Join me as we reimagine all that our most intimate relationships can become. Today's episode is part of our conversation series. I'm just one voice in this relationship diversity movement and it's important to bring more unique perspectives into the conversation. Today I'm talking with Michelle Hai, a second-generation Asian American, daughter of Chinese and Taiwanese immigrants and an important voice in the BIPOC Black Indigenous People of Color polyamorous community. In the conversation, michelle talks about how she believes that politics are all about relationships between individuals and groups and why it's important to discuss relationship diversity through a political lens. This was an eye-opening conversation for me and I'm excited for you to hear Michelle's ideas and perspectives. But first a little about her. Michelle Hai is from Portland, oregon, and runs the page Polyamorous While

Carrie Jeroslow:

Asian, which seeks to normalize non-monogamy and amplify the voices of other people of color who are significantly underrepresented in the non-monogamous communities. She works to educate from an intersectional lens, offers peer support sessions and touches on topics related to body confidence, sex positivity, politics and more. Let's get into the conversation.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Hello everyone and welcome to this episode of Relationship Diversity Podcast. I've got a really important guest with me today and I am really excited to talk to her. Today. I have Michelle High with me who runs the page Polyamorous, w, asian, and what I'm really excited about this discussion is that she helps to destigmatize polyamory and all kinds of non-monogamy, especially for BIPOC and underrepresented groups in the non-monogamous communities, and we're going to talk about polyamory from an intersectional lens and also this idea about politics being all about relationships. I'm really excited to go into that conversation. So with that, michelle, welcome to the podcast, thank you, thank you, I'm really happy to be here. So, for anyone who doesn't know anything about Michelle Hai, would you introduce yourself, tell us more about what you do, what your inspiration is and how you got into it?

Michelle Hy:

My name is Michelle Hai. I'm 31 years old, born and raised in Portland, oregon, mother to two cats, with a linguistics degree that I don't directly use and, yeah, I have been. I identify as polyamorous by orientation, so I am polyamorous just like I am bisexual. I have been actively non-monogamous since about 2012, which is wild. Yeah, starting in your teen years I was is wild. Yeah, starting in your teen years, I was like 19. Yeah, yeah, like a freshman in college trying to figure out adulthood and life in general.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Yeah, okay. So I want to hear more, but tell me about, at 19, how you discovered this idea of polyamory, especially in a very mononormative world. How did you discover?

Michelle Hy:

it. Yeah. So around that time the book Sex at Dawn had come out and I remember reading about it and like, oh, that sounds interesting. But also around that time was when I met my first partner ever like monogamous or non-monogamous, and he, early on in our, let's say, courtship or non-monogamous, and he early on in our, let's say, courtship, he recommended the book Sex at Dawn to me and at the time I didn't realize he had ulterior motives or whatever. I guess like, okay, he's giving me this book. This does seem like a book with an agenda, but reading it, yeah, it was the first time I was ever formally introduced to the terms like polyamory or non-monogamy and I think it helps that that book talks about it through a more anthropological lens and a lot of it just really clicked with me. So, yeah, just reading that book. I haven't turned back since.

Carrie Jeroslow:

How did you grow up? Did you grow up with monogamous parents?

Michelle Hy:

Yeah, yeah, For all intents and purposes, there wasn't anything I wasn't raised in like a kind of hippie culture or anything I was just I just lived in the suburbs, was primarily raised by a single mom and yeah, there wasn't anything that was too out of the ordinary with my upbringing. I would say. Certain things like not being raised in any sort of religious setting probably helped just one less layer of stuff to sift through. But yeah, it was just a pretty boring suburban upbringing.

Carrie Jeroslow:

And so in 2012, you get introduced to polyamory and that started your journey. And then what did that look like and how did that lead you to what you do on Instagram and all of the value and wisdom that you bring?

Michelle Hy:

I think, like a lot of people, my first experience was a huge trial by fire and, I think, like I said earlier, still figuring out college, figuring out life and figuring out relationships in general, because that was the first romantic and sexual relationship I'd ever had. So I was in that relationship for about five years, which was five years too long, honestly. But I learned a lot of lessons a lot of lessons that need to be supplemented with therapy, but a lot of lessons nonetheless. And I started the Instagram, kind of coincidentally, february 2020. I didn't know the world was about to end, so I started the Instagram, kind of coincidentally, february 2020. I didn't know the world was about to end, so I started the Instagram because I was trying to find other publicly out polyamorous Asians.

Michelle Hy:

I'm like I know. We're out there Like I exist. I know other people who are like this exist, but I couldn't find any other accounts who are like this exist, but it couldn't find any other accounts. So, february 2020 decided to create an account and it was going to be just an anonymous. Dump my additional thoughts onto this page separate from my personal Instagram. We suddenly found ourselves at home all the time, and so I started creating more content about non-monogamy and relationships, creating more content about non-monogamy and relationships, posting pictures of my cats, and so then it just caught on and that's wild to think that that was like four and a half years ago, but I wanted to be that whole, be the representation you want to see in the world, yada, yada. So that was the catalyst for beginning the Instagram.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Since then, do you feel like you have found and brought together more polyamorous or non-monogamous Asian Americans or Asian people that you have found? Them Are there. You say they're out, there. Are they coming together?

Michelle Hy:

I don't know how much of the coming together there is. I have encountered a lot more polyamorous Asians and a lot of the time there'll be people who will privately message me because they can't be publicly out about it and say like, oh, it's refreshing to see another queer polyamorous Asian, because there just isn't that representation out there and it's still heavily stigmatized. So I've been able to encounter a lot more and, yeah, that's been really heartening.

Carrie Jeroslow:

You talk about how important it is to discuss non-monogamy from this intersectional lens. I'd love to know your thoughts on that and how that is expressed through your own experience in your own life.

Michelle Hy:

I harp on this a lot, but living in Portland Oregon as a person of color definitely comes with its complexities, Because Portland Oregon is still the widest major city in the United States.

Carrie Jeroslow:

I didn't know that.

Michelle Hy:

Yeah, and it's by design too. Oregon was the headquarters for the Western KKK no-transcript vetting. You have to be balanced, being protective with being open enough to explore relationships.

Michelle Hy:

I will say that, of major metro areas, portland is probably one of the better places to be more openly polyamorous and to date, more polyamorous people In general, polyamorous communities that are public, and out across the United States it is still predominantly white people. Here in Portland, predominantly white people Talked to Kevin Patterson who's the author of Love's, not Colorblind Philadelphia a lot larger Black population, but the polyamorous population at least the ones that are public about it still predominantly white. So, yeah, non-monogamy does have a whiteness problem. So I think a lot of Black content creators and educators have, I think, like usual, led the way with regard to talking more about intersectionality and kind of divesting from whiteness when it comes to non-monogamy and relationships in general.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Yeah, that's why I feel like your voice is really important. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to put yourself out in that way and share your life and share your thoughts, and so I'm grateful for that. I'm white, I see all of that, and yet it is happening, and I think, as a culture, if we can introduce more people, more different kinds of people doing this, that it begins to do exactly what you talk about destigmatize diverse relationships. I want to go into the topic that I'm really excited about, which is about polyamory and politics, and you talk about politics being all about relationships, and I never thought about it in that way. I guess I have limiting beliefs about what politics is, and when you talk about it in terms of politics is all about relationships, that actually gets me more excited to talk about politics, because the politics that I know there's so much divisiveness and ugliness and it just makes me cringe. But this is intrigues me. So can you go into talking more about how politics is all about relationships?

Michelle Hy:

I think oftentimes where the confusion comes from is that politics can be a very all-encompassing word and a lot of people, I think, use the word politics to specifically mean like the political game, like the left versus right, red versus blue, and that's what they refer to as politics. Politics is a lot more general than that and I think we miss a lot of the forest for the trees when we just refer to the political game, because then you get people saying like oh, why are you making this political? Why are you making this political Meaning? Oh, why are you trying to slot this into the left versus right thing when in reality it's all political, because politics is made up of nothing but relationships and politics can be broken down into it's an oversimplification, but it does encompass a lot where it can be broken down into who gets what resources and who gets to decide who gets what resources, and that, I think, transcends left and right and political parties and all of that.

Michelle Hy:

So when people ask like, oh, why are you making this relationship stuff? Why are you talking about politics when this is a polyamory page, when we have systems that affect how we can love and who we can love and how many people we can love and when, say, marriage is a legal institution where you have your relationship recognized by the state. Yes, relationships are very political, like quote unquote marriage equality is only 10 years old in the United States and that's brands making new and it's not a given that that will continue. So yeah, relationships, just in that more encompassing definition, not just focusing on the political game, it is all political.

Carrie Jeroslow:

And I like how you said. I'm taking this from your Instagram page. This is what sparked an aha moment with me is that it's a privilege for people who are in hetero mononormative relationships to not have to think about the political ramifications and context of their relationships, and I always knew that. Yes, the United States in particular gives a lot of benefits to married people and lots of benefits to heterosexual monogamous relationships, but can you go into that a little bit more to give people who maybe don't even think about it being a privilege, what the experience is like from your experience and how, the things that you have to think about and ponder about and fight for, yeah, privilege, as in not necessarily that, like your life is automatically amazing and just completely picturesque.

Michelle Hy:

And ideal privilege, as in you just don't have to worry about as much or worry about to say your sexual orientation or your relationship orientation getting in the way as much. I was just reminded earlier today of in massachusetts there's Somerville, massachusetts and at least a couple other cities in that state that have allowed for domestic partnership agreements that include more than just two people.

Michelle Hy:

On a certificate and that seems so small but it can be very huge when it comes to protections and family protections, because there are instances of families like blended families, non-monogamous families, who have children, who have had CPS called on them and people who just jump to these wild assumptions that it's an abusive environment. It's like, oh, these adults are just having orgies at the house all the time. Think of the children, think of the children. So those certain protections I think a lot of people who are in a cishet, monogamous marriage might not think of and actually might have biases against. That's just one example of legal protections that I think you don't have to think about as much in monogamy.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Yeah, and I feel like I can never know what your experience is. We can never really know what another person's experience is, which is why I feel like it's really important to learn and to hear what is your experience walking around Portland as a polyamorous white Asian, that I would never even imagine or never even know that you experience? I feel like that's really important because if we don't hear people's stories, we don't know what people deal with and we're overlaying our experiences like, oh, that's just everyone's experience, yeah absolutely Absolutely.

Michelle Hy:

That's definitely a reason why I have the page. I try to focus on sharing from lived experience, because I've been doing this actively for about 12 years. But I'm not an expert. I'm an expert in my own experience, for sure, and I can share things that I've learned along the way, but, of course, not everything that I learned will be applicable to everyone and I don't mean for it to be applicable to everyone. It's just my story and hopefully it helps encourage other people to feel more comfortable embracing their story and more comfortable being able to feel like they can explore a potential identity or even just like a potential lifestyle, because non-monogamy can be a lifestyle, it can be a relationship. Orientation depends on the person. So it's all just trying to destigmatize, trying to show people that like, oh, you're not alone in these experiences, you're not alone in struggling in something that you're really going against the grain and it's just not supported by larger society.

Carrie Jeroslow:

I appreciate that because I think that sharing stories again creates more, I think, acceptance in the world that there are different people and that people have different experiences and there's no experience that is wrong. It's just a different experience, and isn't that what makes the world colorful and beautiful and diverse? The world colorful and beautiful and diverse. Now you're in Portland, where it's a very white state, is what you're saying, and so I love supporting people who have different experiences than me. That's what makes the world go round for me.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Going to something that you wrote on Instagram, okay, and this was really big for me, I'm going to actually going to read it because I have it pulled up and this was in your post that I'm going to tag your Instagram page in the show notes. So this is on your post specifically about polyamory and politics, and it's the slide that says ignorance is not bliss. And you write to separate non-monogamy from its political context is to turn relationships into a project of the individual rather than of the collective. It ignores patterns and root issues. That connects us all, specifically keeping the most marginalized pinned under an inequitable status quo that ultimately serves and gives power to a minority of people, holding us back from fostering autonomy, more robust networks of support and liberation for all. Wow, yes, can you talk more about your thoughts with that?

Michelle Hy:

Damn, I was really on one when I read that. Yeah, had a really inspiring evening. Yeah, there's like a lot to break down there. But to ignore political context around non-monogamy or relationships in general is to like we were just talking about with stories, is to flatten the stories that are possible or the stories that are acceptable and so so it blocks, you know, entire groups of people, entire communities from experiencing a more just having a more fulfilling experience, a fuller experience. Because if we don't acknowledge, say, race or class, even like classism and gender inequity, disability and things like that, if we ignore all of these different marginalizations that on top of non-monogamy can have a compounding effect of marginalization, then that whole ignorance is bliss thing. The ignorance is that you are making the choice to leave people behind and to favor the status quo and it all just boils down to that.

Michelle Hy:

Again, I reference Love's Not Colorblind all the time, but Kevin Patterson wrote that if you look around and you don't see people who look like you, you would just assume that polyamory is white people shit, which it isn't. There are a bunch of people who are not white who successfully practice non-monogamy, but those stories are brought to the forefront, just like I think even though in the past few years we seem to have an uptick in mainstream coverage of polyamory, it does still skew toward the more sensational. There's the New York Times with their very catchy headline of the 20-person polycule and it still focuses a lot on the sexual aspect of it and the like maybe young, white and hot aspect of it, or like more middle aged but upper class or wealthy, and so a lot of people also think that polyamory is rich people shit. It's like how would I have time to work my job or work two jobs or something, maybe have to provide for my family and then also gallivant about doing polyamory? So not acknowledging these conversations again is just intentionally leaving whole swaths of people behind.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Yeah, and the interesting thing is the difference between an individualist society was like every man out for himself and the collective, and I do believe that the more we work together, the more we cultivate our own sense of acceptance, self-acceptance, acceptance of diversity. That helps to raise the collective. We raise each other so that we can experience a fulfilling life and be excited for other people to experience a fulfilling life. That many people who are against diverse expressions of relationships are unhappy in their own relationship Not everyone, but a lot of them are unhappy in their own relationship and there's this feeling of like. There's people in the world that just like arguments and combative behavior. They're attuned to that, instead of working together for the collective to be living a fulfilling life, whether that is through relationships, friendship, everything is a relationship, but like intimate relationships, friendships, family, jobs, whatever it is that is fulfilling, and so I loved that idea of discussing relationships and polyamory specifically in a political context helps to bring it into the collective. So that was really amazing. Want to read some of those because they really got me thinking and I'm thinking for you out there in the world. This may help you to think about polyamory and politics.

Carrie Jeroslow:

So these are relationship questions that are political questions that Michelle has in this post that I will link to because it's really eye-opening. So some of the questions are who do we desire eye-opening? So some of the questions are who do we desire? Who are we desired by? Who is seen as a fully autonomous person? Who is seen as an object? Whose voices and needs get heard, whose needs are prioritized and are actually met, who gets to participate? What barriers exist? What barriers exist, who is more likely to be harmed and who gets to live? Wow, well, that really gets me thinking and I think it's really important for us to actually spend time answering those questions, because I'm sure in those answers there will be a lot of bias.

Carrie Jeroslow:

That will be uncovered that we all have our judgments that we need to look at in order to help to shift the way that we're looking at people, all people in the world. So any other things you want to say about those questions?

Michelle Hy:

Yeah, I think, just like I say a lot of the times, where most of the things I talk about with regard to non-monogamy are applicable to people in monogamous relationships too. I think good relationship practice or philosophy is just good relationship practice and philosophy. So even if a person is fully monogamous by orientation, it can still benefit them to think about these systems at play, because I think another aspect of politics is that it's all how our government treats people abroad. It does not exist in a vacuum from how our government treats its own citizens. Like 5,000 miles away, it's all the way across the world. What does that have to do with me? It's using your tax dollars and we still don't have affordable health care. So if that's not political, I don't know what is.

Michelle Hy:

So, with regard to non-monogamy and relationships in general, I think of non-monogamy as a broader part of community building. Sure, it can involve romantic and or sexual relationships, but it is mostly about opening ourselves up to different types of connections and freeing ourselves from being pigeonholed into certain types of dynamics that just don't serve us or the people around us. For example, I have chosen to be child-free and I've chosen to probably not ever get married unless I find someone I really trust, who has a lot better health care than I do. But yeah, like I know, being in conventional monogamous marriage I would be miserable. I know that I would not enjoy motherhood, and a child doesn't deserve that. I would be great aunt material, though.

Michelle Hy:

I'm excited about that, but it really all just boils down to letting people live more authentically and being able to coexist more, because there are no actual issues between monogamous and non-monogamous people. We're all just people trying to get by. We're all just people trying to eke out whatever kind of care and love that we can in a world that both has some real scarcity but also there's manufactured scarcity. So it makes us feel like we're fighting for scraps and having to hurt one another in order to do so, when a lot of it is a distraction from people who actually have the resources, people who actually have the power and influence, who make it so that we're fighting for scraps when there's actually plenty to go around.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Yeah, it's the 24-7 news and the nonstop programming of how to think. And this is why I think, whether anyone goes into non-monogamy or not, the pulling away of the programs and saying why, why, why, why, why is monogamy all that I'm seeing? Why is polyamory sensationalized or non-monogamy sensationalized, why, why? And boiling down to exactly what you said is what do I want? What's the most authentic expression of me? And so it's like this moving from the individual to the collective to the individual. It feeds each other. That's really powerful stuff. And so, Michelle, you do. Peer support groups, right?

Michelle Hy:

Yeah, I offer peer support sessions that are one-on-one, sometimes with couples, and sometimes I've done it with three people at a time. And it's just something that I've offered, not as like a main career thing or like some primary source of income. But almost every non-monogamous creator will get a bunch of questions, because there are a bunch of people who are curious, who want to learn more or want someone else's perspective on their situation, because they just don't have any other resources in their life.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Yeah.

Michelle Hy:

Which we have a lot more books and things these days and more podcasts and whatnot. But it is very difficult to find an monogamous community, and so I just set up peer support so that my DMs aren't just flooded with people asking for opinions on their sometimes intense personal situations.

Michelle Hy:

And I'm like I can help create a container for you, but we need to set aside some time specifically so I'm not just scrolling through your very long paragraph and we can actually be virtually face to face and actually have a conversation. I'm happy to provide my perspective on things, provide relevant experiences and resources that I know about.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Because, like we were saying, when you start to question this programming that maybe you've lived with all your life, there's a lot that comes up, and having someone like Michelle there to bounce things off of and to get different perspectives is really important, because I know for me a lot of times I sit in my own little world and I'm like I'm the only one who thinks this, I'm the only one who feels this, there's something wrong with me, and to even have someone say, actually no, this is very normal and here's some other thoughts and other ways of thinking about it, because it's so out of what we have been programmed to believe and what we have been programmed as the way to live our lives. So I encourage people to check out Michelle's page on Instagram and to reach out. Maybe not so much. Do you have a website, or how do people get in touch with you? If they were like yes, I need some support, is it through your Instagram or do you have a website?

Michelle Hy:

So, even through my Instagram, it redirects to my website where I have a page discussing what the peer support is about, and there's a form that people can fill out.

Carrie Jeroslow:

So, as we're ending the episode, Michelle, I'm curious. I'd love to hear from you what your vision of the future of non-monogamy diverse relationships, what would be your most ideal vision of where we are, maybe five, 10 years from now?

Michelle Hy:

Five, 10 years from now, I think polyamory, non-monogamy there will still be some stigma around it. I think the stigma will continue to lower, because even 10 years ago, when the original More Than Two came out, we saw an explosion of people being like oh okay, what's this thing? And we can try it out. And so yeah, in 10 years I expect that in the mainstream people will be a little more knowledgeable. I don't hold out hope for perfect acceptance or whatnot, but I would imagine that by the time I reach old age I still don't expect it to be fully accepted, and so that's, I guess, not primarily what I focus on.

Michelle Hy:

But I mean in the ideal world, non-monogamy would be boring enough that I wouldn't have to come onto a podcast to talk about or have an Instagram page specifically about that. Ideally, it would just be as mundane as being gay or bisexual and stuff, but that's still very charged and won't anyone think of the children? But yeah, in my ideal world it's just super mundane and it's just another thing that people do and we can all coexist and realize that being non-monogamous is not that different from being monogamous. There's just maybe a little bit more on the Google calendar to have to Tetris around.

Carrie Jeroslow:

I love that answer. I love that because, yes, if it was just oh, it's just mundane, then I feel like that is a success in destigmatizing polyamory.

Michelle Hy:

Right, yeah, so I don't know if I'll see that in my lifetime, but it's a nice thing to think about.

Carrie Jeroslow:

Yeah, yeah, well, everyone. Please reach out to Michelle and check out all the wisdom she has on her Instagram page and thank you so much for being here. Michelle, thanks so much for listening to the Relationship Diversity Podcast. Want to learn more about relationship diversity? I've got a free guide I'd love to send you. Go to wwwrelationshipdiversitypodcastcom to get yours sent right to you. If you liked what you heard, please subscribe to the podcast. You being here and participating in the conversation about relationship diversity is what helps us create a space of inclusivity and acceptance together.

Carrie Jeroslow:

The more comfortable and normal it is to acknowledge the vast and varied relating we all do, the faster we'll shift to a paradigm of conscious, intentional and diverse relationships. New episodes are released every Thursday. Stay connected with me through my website, kerryjerislowcom, instagram or TikTok. Stay curious. Every relationship is as unique as you are. Are you wondering why you never seem to find lasting fulfillment in your relationships, or do you create the same kinds of relationship experiences over and over again? Can you never seem to find even one person who you want to explore a relationship with? Have you just given up hope altogether?

Carrie Jeroslow:

If this sounds like you, my recent book why Do they Always Break Up With Me is the perfect place to start. The foundation of any relationship, whether intimate or not, is the relationship we have with ourselves. In the book, I lead you through eight clear steps to start or continue your self-exploration journey. Steps to start or continue your self-exploration journey. You'll learn about the importance of self-acceptance, gratitude, belief shifting and forgiveness, and given exercises to experience these life-changing concepts. This is the process I use to shift my relationships from continual heartbreak to what they are now fulfilling, soul-ishing, compassionate and loving. It is possible for you. This book can set you on a path to get there, currently available through Amazon or through the link in the show notes.

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